:/ The Weight I Carry! :/

I carry the weight of sadness each and every day. I became pregnant during this fall semester of school, and found out around Christmas time. I looked forward to becoming a mother and my family was extremely excited as well. Some of my friends knew but most of the news was told to my family. My parents were going to have their first grandchild, my brothers and sisters were going to have their first niece or nephew, and my child would have been the first great and great-great grandchild for my grandparents. This past Christmas, December 25, 2011, my grandmother ( my mom’s mom) passed away, and so finding out that I was pregnant brought some excitement to the family because we all had just lost a family member. I began this spring semester pregnant and it was a little hard to get up every morning and come to school but I did it! On January 27, 2012 I was scheduled for my first ultrasound and enjoyed seeing my baby on the little monitor. The baby was fine and everything was okay at the ultrasound appointment. After the ultrasound, I started to not feel well and slept the rest of the day. At 10:45 p.m., that night I miscarried my baby. I was in the Emergency Room the next day, all day long. This tragic incident has left pain and sadness on me. I have gotten through most of my day, but some days are the hardest, especially when it hurts me that I lost my baby. I share this story because being opened about it helps me cope with this loss that I have suffered. But, through all of this I will continue to try my hardest to keep this SMILE on my face. :)